Feeling Down

   I'm feeling down. Some big chapters of my life are coming to an end. I'm moving once again. This time it's another big move. I moved from Pennsylvania to Colorado only 3 years ago and here I am again moving from Colorado to California. Packing my life in a car and never looking back. I feel anxious and sad. I was ready to leave my Pennsylvania life behind, but I don't feel ready to leave my Colorado life yet. I love it here. This is where I found my love for climbing and my passion for running. This is where I adopted the love of my life Mr. L'Hopital. This is where I found true happiness for once.

   Everyone tells me I will love San Francisco. They tell me this move is good for me. They tell me I will be fine. I know I will be fine, and I know that this move is good for me but it doesn't mean I shouldn't feel sadness. Yoga and meditation only ease my aching heart and rushing brain for a moment. I don't think I will feel peace about my decision to move for awhile. Maybe I did it for the money. Maybe I did it for the opportunity to start new again. Maybe I did it for the chance to see new places and meet new people. Maybe I did it to be closer to Yosemite, the high Sierras, and Tahoe [places I've never explored before]. Maybe I did it for all these reasons. One thing I know for sure, it wasn't because I wanted to leave Colorado, leave my awesome friends behind and the amazing climbing and mountains. No, I know that for sure.

  So here I sit another sleepless night feeling alone and depressed when I am still in the place I love surround by the people I love. I have an entire month and a half still here in Colorado. Where I plan to enjoy every second of it with no responsibilities. Climbing and running and enjoying the people in my life while they are still this close. It feels good to say how I'm feeling. I am only human, and I'm sure many people have felt the same way in there lives at one point or another.

Cheers to growing up and starting new! I'll be fine. I always am.
Naomi